Planning When the World is Falling Apart
Just a quick note before you head into the blog post. Are you an academic who is trying to figure out your long term planning processes? My planning course, plan(it)*, can help support you as you figure that out. Check out the link for more info.
***First, I just wanted to share that I started writing this post back in January, in response to my own personal crises. I had it ready to go last month (because I am finally ahead in blog post writing 🎉🎉🎉). Since that time things with the coronavirus have continued to escalate and as I re-read this post its felt eerily appropriate for life in general at the moment.***
If you're a regular reader of my blog you know that my dad passed away in November, and then we had another family emergency come up in December that was also really difficult.
While my days and weeks are usually very structured, rigidity has not been what I’ve needed these past few months. From November through mid-January my schedule and planning processes shifted dramatically, mainly because I didn't do any planning (at least not the level of planning that I usually do). Once winter term started in early January I did need some sort of structure to help balance all the things, so I slowly started to incorporate more structure planning back into my regular routine.
Here are a few of my takeaways from recent months about planning when it feels like the world is falling apart.
Decide what is 100% necessary and only do those things. I’m talking about things like eating, making sure your kid(s) is/are taken care of, traveling to be with family, calling family members, etc. Cancel or let go of everything else, they don’t matter. There’s nothing like a major crisis to help you get crystal clear on what your priorities are. I happened to have a bunch of meetings scheduled around the time my dad passed away. After figuring out travel, I drafted a 2 sentence email to everyone I was supposed to meet with, cancelling the meeting. I copied/pasted the message and sent it off to everyone who was on my calendar. Then I set work aside and moved on to other things. If you’re not feeling up for reaching out to people, find a trusted colleague and ask them to let people know.
Along similar lines, take one day at a time, or a few hours at a time, or a few minutes at a time. What needs to happen today, or by 4:00pm, or in the next 10 minutes? Just focus on doing that and forget the rest. Once you’re done, figure out what’s next. If nothing needs to be done next, take a break. We had a day between booking our flight back east and when it was scheduled to leave. With the flight booked, airport transportation, and our cat situation figured out all we needed to do was pack (which was not going to take 24 hours). Instead of jumping into packing, we took a walk to a park. Getting outside helped slow my brain down and keep me connected to the present moment.
If there are things on your schedule that bring you joy or might serve as a helpful distraction, keep them there. I didn’t actually cancel everything I had planned or stop doing everything that was in my regular routine. For example, I kept plugging along with my daily meditation (granted, with travel this got a little out of sorts), which really helped with the emotions that were (and still are) flooding through me (see my point below about allowing emotions). I also had a couple research related meetings for a project that I enjoyed working on that I didn’t cancel. I did let my collaborator know what was going, and said that I would welcome a brief distraction - and also said I’d cancel if it felt like too much.
Get everything out of your head. If there are specific things you need to do but they don’t need to happen right away, write them down somewhere you’ll see them and/or set an alarm in your phone. Keep the list with you and add to it when new things come up. While this is usually my calendar and to do lists’ job, I found that opening up my calendar felt like too much for me. It was a reminder of how life keeps going even when it stops, which wasn’t what I wanted to think about at the time. Having something separate from my calendar that allowed me to keep track of things was helpful.
Allow whatever emotions you’re feeling. Whatever you’re feeling... devastation, anger, confusion, uncertainty… it’s all normal. Pushing it to the side just seems to make it worse and made me feel more stuck. Let them run through your body and notice how they feel. Allowing them to happen helped me be more present and engage with others without being overwhelmed.
Rest, take breaks, sleep. Grief, loss, chaos, it’s all exhausting. Prioritize down time as you figure out what each day will look like.
Try and do something each day that makes you feel good. For me, that was getting outside and going for walks.
Do whatever you need to do to get through the day. My first year in this position I gave this advice to a student who lost a loved one. I’ve been reflecting on that advice recently. We all deal with loss and crises differently. What works for one person may be terrible for you. Figure out what helps you get by, do more of that, and forget the rest.
What about you, how have you approached planning when the world is falling apart?
